The Pulitzer Prize-winner with the potty mouth known as Junot Díaz is releasing his new collection of short stories next week, and I couldn’t be more excited. As its title would suggest, This is How You Lose Her is all about loving and losing. Hard.
Let it serve as a cautionary tale, though: you mess around and love enough in this life and you’ll end up like the main character, Yunior, a self-proclaimed sucio whose ability to give himself to another is equaled only by his recklessness with other people’s hearts.
Now, for those who may not know, Yunior, whom Díaz has been writing about since Drown, does in fact have elements of himself. It is what close friends and fam call him, for starters.
“Yunior for me has been a productive alter ego,” says the author/MIT professor of writing. “He’s enough like me to be familiar, and yet alien enough to unsettle…I guess I like Yunior because he’s smart and sensitive enough to know he’s fucked but he ain’t got the courage yet to take the next step — the one that will transform him utterly…”
The way he writes about love (for another, for oneself) got me thinking…what would Díaz’s online dating profile look like if he had one? Being the awesome guy that he is, he indulged me, and the result is Junot Díaz like you’ve never read him before!
Peep his answers on Fusion (ABC/Univision), where it was originally published. After reading them, tell me, honestly: would you date this man?
Disclaimer: This is all for laughs. Although these are real, actual questions taken from the “Questions” section of eHarmony (and Díaz’s answers are 100% real, in his own words), I didn’t actually set up an account for Díaz. I’m certain he’ll do that on his own if/when he needs to.